Is He Treating You Like A Priority Or An Option?

We’ve all been there at one point or another. Guy meets girl, girl falls for guy, guy doesn’t really care that much. It’s either your boyfriend, your friend’s boyfriend or maybe just a contestant on The Bachelorette. We’ve all encountered a situation where we’ve had to contemplate whether a guy is treating their girl right. It can be hard to come to terms with. However, it’s important to know whether your boyfriend is treating you like an option– you shouldn’t waste your time prioritizing somebody who doesn’t do the same for you.

Does he make time for you?

We all get busy. This is college, it’s understandable. However, when it comes down to it when you care about something you make time for it. Your boyfriend shouldn’t be blowing you off on a regular basis. If a guy really sees you as a priority he will put in the effort to make the time for you. Not because he has to but because he genuinely wants to.

Does he include you in his plans?

It’s one thing to have personal goals, dreams and aspirations. You shouldn’t under any circumstances stop being your own person just because you’re in a relationship. However, not even considering your significant other when making plans for the future is another thing completely. It’s all about communication and making sure you’re both on the same page. If your boy consistently doesn’t include you in his future plans, even if it’s just for next Friday night, you’re most likely a backup plan, not a priority.

Does he just reach out to you when it’s convenient?

If you are questioning whether your boyfriend sees you as a priority or an option, pay attention to when he makes himself available to you. Does he stick with you, even when things are rocky in your relationship? Does he make an effort to spend time with you or talk to you, even when it might not be convenient for him? If he only reaches out when things are easy, when his plans fall through, or when he needs an ego boost, then it’s time to move on.

Does he keep his promises?

It’s no secret that actions speak louder than words. Flaking out on plans, favors, and other promises creates a lack of trust in a relationship. When someone says one thing but does another, it makes you question their word and what you mean to them. If your boyfriend is always making promises he can’t keep, then that’s definitely a red flag.

Does he think about you before himself?

I’m not talking about all the time, because hello, that would be selfish and unrealistic of you. However, little things like asking you how your day is going, offering you the bigger half of the dessert you’re both sharing, or staying up an hour later at night to comfort you when you’re having a meltdown about your chemistry midterm, speak volumes about his feelings for you. If he is only ever worried about his feelings, his problems, his life and so on, then that’s not a partnership.

Does he make you feel wanted?

There is nothing worse than feeling unappreciated by someone you deeply care for. You shouldn’t have to beg to be cherished, or prove that you’re worthy, or special, or anything.  You should always be able to be yourself and feel wanted and appreciated. As Mindy Kaling once said, “in my mind, the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you’re wanted.” If you aren’t feeling wanted by your own boyfriend, it’s time to say goodbye because that shit ain’t worth it, honey.

Here’s the takeaway:

If you are feeling empty, confused and oftentimes very alone in your relationship, it’s time to take a deeper look at what you want your relationship to look like. He’s taking up emotional real estate when someone else could be a better fit. What if you miss out on another wonderful relationship because you’re stuck fighting for someone who doesn’t want to fight for you?

Image via Alison Carroll

Michelle Dufflocq

Editorial Contributor, University of Montana Major: Marketing Her heart belongs to: Airports, city lights, Carrie Bradshaw's closet, fresh flowers, rom coms, Harry Potter and baked goods Her guilty pleasures: Movies intended for tweens, carbs, binge watching YouTube videos, sleeping until noon and every show tune known to man.

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