The Positivity In A Breakup: Why This Is The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To You

There’s no sugar coating it, break-ups are the absolute worst. Heartbreak is not all Ben & Jerry’s and rom coms. It’s rough, it’s real, it’s loss. We feel you, girl.

But as cheesy as it sounds, Kelly Clarkson hit the nail on the head when she sang the lyrics “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Going through something difficult like a break-up can be extremely painful but you will come out of this experience a wiser and much stronger person. Believe it or not, breakups can be extremely positive in the long run. Here are six reasons why this may actually turn out to be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.


1. A Fresh Start

Although a break-up is an end it is also a beginning. This is a chance to start all over, to have a new perspective on life, love and yourself. People often associate break-ups with letting go, someone, you love, but a break-up can also help you let go of pain, toxicity, low self-worth, co-dependence, and negativity. Not to mention this gives you a brand new chance to find the love that you actually deserve. No matter what your situation is, what the reason behind your split was, breaking up can be a chance to let go everything that was dragging you down and to start your life fresh.


2. Learning About Yourself

Don’t think of your failed relationship as a waste of time because it is absolutely the opposite. Although things didn’t work out, I bet you can look back on the experience and find so many things that you learned about yourself. Whether it’s that you need to focus more on your career, work on your jealousy issues, practice self-love more often, stop dating bad boys or that you are even more awesome than you thought you were before, a break-up can make you so much more in touch with who you are as a person. Learning about ourselves is extremely important because it helps us understand why we do the things we do, how to be better people and how to live the happiest lives we can live.


3. Learning What You Want

As the saying goes you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your prince charming/ best frog available that is unfortunately not Harry Styles. As sucky as it is to have to spend time on said frogs, your experience with them is super important. Going through break-ups helps you learn what works for you and what doesn’t when it comes to relationships. You understand yourself a little bit more, your taste, what you think you want vs. what you actually need and maybe even bad dating patterns you may have. You also may even learn that you don’t actually want a relationship at this point in your life in the first place, which is completely A-okay as well.


4. Focusing on yourself

As wonderful as relationships can be, they aren’t the place to be selfish. In most cases, you have to make decisions and plans with your bae in mind, which can be pretty exhausting sometimes. These years are the years to focus on yourself, to be selfish and to figure out what makes you happy. While doing these things in a relationship is definitely possible, it’s pretty unlikely they will be a top priority. After a break-up is the perfect time to use all of your energy to focus on you. This is the time to make yourself the top priority for once. So take long bubble baths, start training for a half marathon, watch crappy reality television, eat that piece (or two) of cake and spend time with the people who make you laugh and think you’re amazing.


5. What Doesn’t Kill You…

That’s right, makes you stronger! Going through any painful experience is always difficult, but you’re going to come out on the other side tougher and even more capable of tackling what lies ahead. It can be extremely difficult to let go something that isn’t meant for you; but doing this shows courage, maturity, and sets your personal standards in place for future relationships. As hard as it may be when it’s happening, letting go of an ex will make you happier, stronger, and more fulfilled in the long  run.  That being said, recovering from heartbreak doesn’t happen overnight. You’re going to have to feel pain. You’re going to have to hurt, cry and be vulnerable before you can pick yourself back up again and start moving forward. But opening yourself up to risk experiencing any kind of loss in the first place is an underrated kind of strength that even Kelly Clarkson would be damn proud of.


6. Being Single > Bad Relationship

I cannot stress this last point enough. It’s a million times better to be single than to be in a relationship that makes you feel like shit. I know too many girls that would rather put themselves through hell in a relationship than be single and I find that incredibly sad. Being single can be empowering, educational and freeing; and it’s so much better than crying yourself to sleep every night over a stupid boy who can’t see how absolutely incredible you are. Getting out of a relationship is the perfect time to let go, move forward, and to create a stronger you and an amazing life. So save your tears, honey, because good mascara don’t run cheap.


Image via Kelly Marcelo

Michelle Dufflocq

Editorial Contributor, University of Montana Major: Marketing Her heart belongs to: Airports, city lights, Carrie Bradshaw's closet, fresh flowers, rom coms, Harry Potter and baked goods Her guilty pleasures: Movies intended for tweens, carbs, binge watching YouTube videos, sleeping until noon and every show tune known to man.

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