The Problem With Saying “I don’t like girls”

“Girls don’t like me.”

“I don’t like girls.”

Raise your hand if you’ve ever said or heard one of these phrases. Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought one of these phrases. Raise your hand if you didn’t raise your hand because you know we can’t see you.

Gotcha.

I’m as guilty as they come. I tend to feel like other girls are out to get to me, don’t want to friend me or just downright aren’t a fan of me. I use the “girls don’t like me” bit to make myself feel better, and typically go on to say something about how guys are just so much easier to get along with.

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This isn’t always true, but it sure seems like it at times. I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with girls. I’ve been the victim of snooty comments. I’ve been excluded from outings. Heck, I was even expelled from a GroupMe once. Ouch.

Buuuut if we’re being honest, I’ve also been on the other side of the spectrum. I’m guilty of making assumptions about other women, not opening up to girls and acting cold when I feel intimidated.

Ring a bell?

The thing about those phrases ‘I don’t like girls’ and ‘girls don’t like me’ is that when we say them, we paint other women as the enemy. And us gals need to stick together, amirite?

I stumbled upon this anonymous saying online, and it hit the nail right on the head:

“Why do we, as girls, bring down other girls, knowing how hard life can be for a girl?”

That one really made me stop and think. Why do we meet so many nice girls when we’re tipsy in bar bathrooms but not when we’re sober in the Starbucks line? Why do we judge other women for being dressed up just because we’re wearing sweatpants that day? Why do we creep on other girls’ Instagram accounts to see if we’re cooler, prettier, more exciting?

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Women tend to see other women as their greatest competition. This can feel especially intense in college where we’re surrounded by thousands of bright, talented women that are all the same age as we are. We’re all striving to earn stellar degrees, have killer resumés, look our best and basically kick ass all around. We compete for attention from everyone to college recruiters to the smokin’ hot bartender who works every Thursday night.

Let’s face it. It’s hard not to compare ourselves to other women and that can create some jealousy and hostility. But if we resort to an ‘I don’t like girls’ mentality, we ruin the chance of meeting some cool, fabulous girlfriends.

It’s time to put an end to seeing each other as competition instead of comrades. It’s time to stop saying we don’t like other women, and they don’t like us either.

So what shall we do, ladies?

Make a habit of supporting other women

By other women, we don’t mean just your friends. Simple acts like smiling at girls when you pass them on the street instead of glaring, staring or comparing yourself can go a long way. Giving out genuine compliments is a groovy way to make another girl feel good about herself. If one of your acquaintances scores an awesome internship, give her a shout out. Acknowledge that there are other badass girls out there and you can learn a thing or two from each other. Don’t act like you’re too cool for anyone. That’s lame, dude.

Reach out

We’ve probably all had a run-in with a Regina George or two, and that’s enough to make a girl guarded. Similar to romantic relationships, we’re cautious about who we open up to in friendship. So when meeting girls for the first time, you do have to reach out a little more to build a bond. Be brave and be the first to strike up a conversation or extend an invitation to hang out. Who wouldn’t want to make more friends instead of having more rivals? Crazy people, that’s who.

Go the extra mile for the girlfriends you already have

People don’t always treat you the way you deserve. Even your closest friends can fall short at times, but if you do the things you’d want them to do for you 1) you rock and 2) maybe it will start a cycle of girls building up other girls. You know, spread the love and all that good stuff. Shoot them a message just to say you appreciate them. Bring them a latte when you make a coffee run just because. Schedule time to hang out even on your busiest weeks. Make sure to show some love to the women who have supported you all this time because we all know that like a good man, a good friend is hard to find.

Stop saying those phrases

Saying ‘I don’t like girls’ and ‘girls don’t like me’ isn’t doing anything for anyone. Scrap those expressions from your vocab, and remember that all of us girls have fought similar battles.

Just think of all the battles we could avoid if we joined forces.

Megan Peterson

Editorial Contributor, Indiana University Major: Journalism and Apparel Merchandising Her heart belongs to: fashion, old Hollywood, the color pink, big cities, disco balls, airports and dance parties Her guilty pleasures: Diet Coke, Friends reruns, shopping sprees, and following Kate Middleton’s life a little too closely

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