bridesmaidzilla – n– a member of a bridal party who is well-versed in complaining and educated in the art of b*tchery
Okay we made that up… but for real, a bridesmaidzilla is the last thing you want to become.
Chances are, you’re going to be asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding sooner or later. And don’t get us wrong — being a bridesmaid is an amazing honor, even if at times it feels like your life is turning into 27 Dresses. We’d be lying, however, if we said that the duties of a bridesmaid don’t require a lot of hard work. Case in point: it’s easy to fall into the bridesmaidzilla trap; here’s how to avoid it at all costs.
IT’S NOT YOUR DAY
Sorry to be blunt, but this day is not for you. Yes, we all have our dream weddings planned on Pinterest, and you know exactly which dress you would purchase from Kleinfeld, but odds are the bride’s thoughts are totally different from your own. And that’s okay! If all weddings were the same they wouldn’t be so special. A wedding should reflect the couple, and it’s important to keep that in mind as the bride makes her wedding plans. Encourage her in her decisions instead of questioning her taste — her vision is what matters in the end.
BE WILLING TO WEAR ANYTHING
The outfit you will be wearing is not important. One true attribute of a bridesmaidzilla is selfishness. If you find yourself thinking I hate the dress, I don’t like up-does, I don’t like the food, then you’ve got some major back tracking to do. The bride and groom have carefully selected every aspect of their wonderful day, and you were lucky enough to be chosen to play a key role. Instead of focusing on how you look and feel, focus on how the bride is feeling. Bring her a drink as she’s making her rounds to say hello to her guests instead of moping around, complaining about how bad your feet hurt.
As a bridesmaid you will be expected to attend several events. Depending on the wedding these may include: engagement parties, dress fittings, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and, obviously, the wedding itself. It might sound stressful, but staying organized is key. A bridesmaidzilla is known for being late or even absent at events that are important to the bride. To avoid this, stay in contact with the other bridesmaids, even if you don’t know them personally. This will make it much easier to plan and coordinate events. Tasks and payments may be divided amongst the bridesmaids for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, so be sure to fulfill your own role completely. We recommend talking to the other bridesmaids and the bride every few weeks to stay on top of everything, and to see what you can help out with. Keep important dates where you will remember them and prepare ahead of time if you will be traveling.
PLAN A SURPRISE FOR THE BRIDE
A bridesmaidzilla is someone who doesn’t make the bride feel special. One of the best ways to avoid this is to plan a surprise for her. This could be personal, but we recommend organizing a big surprise with the other bridesmaids. We don’t necessarily mean a coordinated dance down the aisle; just aim to do something heartfelt that the bride will really appreciate. Our favorite is a scrapbook filled with letters to the bride from all the important women in her life. Give the book to her at the rehearsal dinner, and we promise she will treasure it forever.
So as your friend is walking down the aisle, remember that she chose you to stand by her, and take that role seriously. We believe in you, ladies!
Featured image from Mallory + Justin.