Let’s set the scene, shall we? You’re at a party with your friends, dressed to the nines in a romper that makes you feel like a young J. Lo. Not to mention you’re having a really good hair day, and a lot of cuties are there tonight. There’s only one problem. Said cuties are all hovering around one girl. You know the one: the girl who’s got it all.
And then the feeling washes over you. Jealousy.
We all probably know a girl who seems to have her whole life together. The designer clothes, stellar resumé, the endless stream of VIP-worthy activities, killer grades, and the body of Megan Fox to boot. Oh and every summer she volunteers to help build schools in third world countries. We’re talking Mother Theresa meets Marilyn Monroe. Maybe you don’t know anyone like that, but there are different traits you envy in different people. Real talk: We all get jealous from time to time.
With the prominence of social media, it’s easy to see what everyone is doing at almost all hours of the day. Information overload, amiright? Sometimes simply scrolling through your Instagram feed, can lead you to start comparing yourself to others. Or for fellow over-analyzers, you end up asking yourself questions like whether you’re good enough, pretty enough, this enough, that enough. The works.
If you’re anything like us, the worst part about being jealous is that you don’t want to feel that way. But the little green monster is hard to shake. Whether it stems from a sibling rivalry, a friend who gets all the attention, or the girl who’s got it all, here are some tidbits to help overcome that pesky jealous feeling. And what if we told you you could channel the negative feeling into something positive? *Somewhere out there, Oprah and Dr. Phil just did a fist bump.*
Do some soul searching, sister. Being completely honest with yourself about how you’re feeling will immediately relieve some of the tension jealousy creates. If you’re close with the person, directly tell her that you envy the way she gains the affection of everyone she meets or that you fan girl over her Carrie Bradshaw-esque sense of style. After all there is a compliment behind jealousy. Putting it out there might help you get closer to feeling happy for the person instead of sulking in a sea of bitterness. And you’ll make her day as well. Win-win.
Learn From It and Take Action
Think about why you feel what you feel and then make some moves to change that. Let’s say you’re envious of an acquaintance with killer social skills and a lot of friends. Maybe this means you wish you knew more people or perhaps making friends has never come naturally to you. Observing what your pal does well and adopting some of her techniques is the perfect way to stifle that jealousy. Is she really involved? A good conversationalist? Does she just smell hella good? Figure out what works for other people and make it your own, girlfriend.
Remember You Rock Too
Everyone has things they want to change about themselves, even Victoria’s Secret models (we swear). There are people out there that want something you’ve got. Maybe you’re jealous of someone’s athletic build, but she’d give anything for your flawless skin. You’re jealous of the attention she gets from boys, and she envies your ability to make people laugh so hard that milk comes out of their noses. You’ve got things going for you too. Just remember that it’s easy to focus on all the things you want to change about yourself instead of all the fab qualities you already have.
Jealousy is a draining emotion, and there’s not a whole lot you can do to avoid it. The good news is that acknowledging it and getting inspired by the gals you envy can help you overcome jealousy while becoming even more of a badass in the process. Can I get a hell yeah?
Image via Kelly Marcelo