We Don’t All Love The Same Way (And That’s A Good Thing)

I’m a firm believer that we all receive love and show love in different ways. My boyfriend and I could not show love and receive love in more different ways. My brother and I could not show love and receive love in more different ways. My best friend and I could not show love and receive love in more different ways. But all of these different relationships work because we understand each other and I respect the way that they show love, and they respect that way that I need to be loved. Without this understanding family relationships, friend relationships, and romantic relationships will never work.

But Mack, how do I know how I show love and receive love? Take this quiz to find out the way you love. My best friend was the first one to show me this. She showed it to me in high school and I recommend it to people all the time. It tells you what your love languages are. There are five of them: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

But what do they mean?

  • Words of affirmation people hold on really tightly to words.
  • Acts of service people appreciate actions more so than words.
  • Receiving gifts people feel most loved when they receive a gift.
  • Quality time people relish in undivided attention.
  • Physical touch people find joy in close proximity to others.

I’ve taken this quiz many times at different stages in my life, and it’s really cool to see how the results change a little based upon what we are going through. Although my results have differed a bit over the years, the foundation of my results always stays the same.

When my boyfriend and I started talking I asked him to take the quiz so I would know how he needed to be loved. He shared his results with me, and I shared mine with him. He got a good laugh when he saw that my love language is quality time, and we happened to be in a long distance relationship. Needless to say, I’m not very good at long distance, but it helped that he knew that because he could focus on my number two love language… Words of affirmation.

Sometimes it’s fun to guess people’s love languages before they even take the quiz, especially with the people that you are closest with. Most times we know them better than they know themselves, and sometimes they think they need to be loved on way when really they need to be loved a different way.

Although this little quiz is a fun way to figure help us figure it out, someone once told me the best way to figure out someone’s love language is to listen.

We get so caught up in the business of life and in ourselves that we often forget to genuinely take the time to listen to our loved ones and figure out what their needs and wants are, because they’ll tell you. I promise. They may not flat out come out and say it, but if you truly listen you will know how your loved ones need and desire to be loved. And when you love them the way that they need without having to be told, it means more than just about any action or thing you could possibly do… Trust me y’all, so many brownie points.

I think if we all took a little more time to figure out how our loved ones need to be loved, we would have more successful relationships, marriages, friendships, and less chaotic family gatherings — Wouldn’t that be a dream? But it doesn’t just have to be a dream. All it takes is a little listening and putting aside our pride to love others the way they want to be loved instead of the way that we want to love them. So go find people who respect the way that you need to be loved, and show them love with that same respect…. And when that happens, it all just works.

image via Francesca Smeriglio 

Mackenzie Friedman

Mackenzie Friedman, Texas Christian University Major: Sports Broadcasting Her heart belongs to: Jesus Christ, golden retrievers, Dallas sports teams, and The Bachelor You can find her: probably stalking bloggers on Instagram, maybe working out, definitely online shopping

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