“What do you mean you’re ‘going out?’ Like, are you going steady or are you going out on a date tonight?”
The amount of times I had to explain my generation’s method of dating to my mother couldn’t be counted on my ten fingers and ten toes. I was always correcting her when attempting to gush details about the newest boy I had been talking to.
“No, Mom, going steady isn’t a concept anymore” and “We have a ‘thing,’ okay?”
As if telling our parents that polite dating is dead wasn’t enough, now we don’t even “go out.” We just jump from person to person, refusing to stay for more than a couple of months.
We claim that we hate being tied down, that there’s nothing worse than commitment. We ghost on the ones who want to do nothing but merely spend some quality time together. We justify ignoring texts by saying he/she was just “too clingy.” We pretend that living emotionless is the best way to live– but is that really even living?
High school me was totally onboard for the “no commitment” mindset. 90% of relationships that my friends were in didn’t make it. Every time I got into a relationship it ended with me listening to sappy love music while staring blankly at the ceiling for hours on end. Was finding love in high school really even worth it? I really didn’t think so.
Then, I hit college. I started experiencing loss and difficult transitions; my grandmother had passed the previous summer and I saw the impact on my loved ones. We started texting more, calling more, expressing “I love yous” for no reason at all. I realized that that was going to be me someday, and I pondered how many people would know how much I really loved them when it was all said and done. Would there be a partner by my side who knew I couldn’t go to bed without a glass of wine every night or that I audibly gasped every time I saw a dog? Would there be children by my side- the product of a loving and healthy romance?
Our generation has recently taken on a new trend: a “screw love” movement. People don’t like to settle down because there’s a strong belief that love weakens you and hinders your life. While I agree that in some ways you do become weak in bending over backward for someone, you also have someone to empower you, encourage you, make you see the best potential in yourself and love you through it all. How is that such an unappealing concept?
I’m all for dating around. At a young age, it is completely beneficial to encounter as many romantic experiences as possible. But to never accept love in your life? To turn perfectly wonderful romantic partners down and keep up the walls with an army behind them? That sounds pretty lonely to me.
We are too caught up in romanticizing the death of dating. Love has been proven to help you live longer, decrease your risk of depression, and give you better skin (seriously). You’ll have someone to help you defeat your demons and accept each inch of you… and kill the spiders in the shower.
We need to start understanding the benefits of love. You may be too young and unstable to even think about settling down right now (God knows I am, I can barely dress myself), but that doesn’t mean you’ll never reach a time in your life that love could come to you. Greet it with open arms. Don’t push it away.
If you want to gain life experiences, why not give this one a go?
Image Breanna Coon