Instagram posts, Facebook statuses, long text messages. You’re now in a relationship that you intend to take seriously.
I mean, I get it. It’s new and exciting.
But, here is the dilemma… How do you juggle this relationship with the ones that you already have? How do you make time for your girlfriends and this automatic plus-one to weddings? How do you balance your serious relationship and the best friends?
No matter where you’re at in life concerning the dating scene, most of us know the one girl who left all her friends behind because of a relationship. Or the best friend that burned bridges because she felt gypped of attention from her serious-dating friend.
So here’s how to deal with both the significant other and the best friend.
Express how important both relationships are to everyone involved
Right off the bat, tell you significant other how important your girlfriends are to you. Just as quickly, express how important your serious relationship is to your best friends. Get it out of the way and nip it in the butt. Then, neither one can be surprised. Communication is key here in expressing how these relationships in your life are equally valued in your life.
Schedule time with your girlfriends
Scheduling time with your serious relationship may not be that difficult. I am always ready to drop my Netflix binging and coffee drinking in order to spend time with my boyfriend (maybe not now that we’ve been dating so long, but you get what I mean). Schedule that same kind of time with your best friend. Have consistency with her, and let her know that she hasn’t gone to the wayside.
If you say you’ll go to something, go
That being said, if you say that you’ll schedule to do something with your girlfriends, don’t be flaky. After a while, they may not feel so inclined to keep inviting you if they know rejection is on the way. Make your yes’s yes and your no’s no. This is honestly just a good, general life lesson.
Put down the phone
Communicate to your boyfriend that tonight is a night out with the girls and that your phone will be tucked away. Or vice-versa. Let your girlfriends know that tonight is your date night and avoid chatting with them all night. Another life lesson coming your way— spend time with the person you’re with in that moment. Put down the phone.
Try to not make your best friends feel so “third-wheelish”
There will be times when their lives will collide—the best friends and significant other. Some of my favorite moments with my boyfriend have been when my best friend tagged along. I always felt so loved for my best friend to have a blast alongside my boyfriend and me. You don’t have to get too crazy with always bringing best friends along on hang-outs (or you have the Jessica Day kind of aggressive third-wheeling with Schmidt and Cece scenario). But, try to not cause them to feel like they’re never welcome, and ask both parties to do the same for each other.