You’ve seen it all before- your best friend’s older sister met her boyfriend 2 weeks before moving to study in London. Your cousin started dating her boyfriend 3 months before her big move to Nashville for her music career. It’s like, as soon as a big move comes, like clockwork, they fell in love at the wrong time.
Relationships are tricky. And honestly, it’s really hard to find someone that’s worth dedicating all of your time to. So what happens when 2 months before your big move to an internship across the country, you meet the guy of your dreams? You hold onto that guy for dear life and hope you can make it through the next 4 months without him. Of course!
You swear everyone was wrong about long distance, and that you and your new boy are different! But what is it about big moves to new study abroad countries or internship cities that make us clutch onto our new relationships with everything we have? Is it really something special or is it one of these following factors?
You could be extra motivated to enter a relationship because you want the comfort of knowing you have someone, no matter what. Moving to a place where you don’t know anyone or anything can obviously be pretty stressful. It’s nice to know you have someone to turn to at the end of a hard, challenging day. Even if you have trouble adjusting or making friends in your new life, you would have a romantic partner as a part of your support system.
You probably haven’t considered how hard it will be to have to rely on your phone for communication or how much you’ll miss them, but the idea of having a significant other can just be so comforting. You know there is one person who is thinking of you at the end of the day just like you’re thinking of them.
Although there should be no pressure on anyone to feel like they have to “settle down” or “find the one” before a certain point in their life (if ever), it can be easy to fall into the trap of selling yourself short in love in order to ease the fear of being alone.
(But, of course, you don’t need anyone else to complete you!)
Nonetheless, fear can be a large motivator when it comes time to make your decision about this person and your future together.
Preserving the “present you”.
Maybe you love the spontaneous, genuine, happy person you are right now. Dating someone from your hometown or from the place you live can give you a false notion of preserving the woman you are in the here and now. It could be a way to keep you tied to the place and the memories you’ve made there.
While there is nothing wrong with loving your current self just the way you are, there will always be more opportunity for growth. Change isn’t always a bad thing. And who’s to say you can’t go back to that place without having a relationship grounding you there?
The “what if?” factor.
What if this person is the one? What if it could be the greatest relationship you’ve had? It’s hard to let go of something before it reaches its potential. If you think too hard about all the possibilities, you’ll get caught up in your thoughts. You also could just be in love with the idea of this person, and the great significant other they might be, instead of looking at the reality of long distance with this particular person.
In relationships, always go with your gut feeling. It can be hard to leave something behind, but make sure you consider all the things that might await you in your new destination.