Breakup Medication You Won’t Find On WebMD

So, a snake bit you.

The CDC may not endorse it, but the cowboys of the seventies would tell you to cut that wound open, suck out the venom and spit it back to the dust.

Sometimes that’s what a wound calls for—if only for the catharsis of the dramatic release.

Same with wounds of the heart. Screaming along to an angry breakup playlist may be the closest form of raw, emotional liberation we have to sucking out and spitting back the venom of a bad split.

Sure, long term healing from a breakup will more often than not require time, some TLC to the self, and a pint or two, or seven, of Ben and Jerry’s.

But once in a while, you have to get off the beaten path of WebMD and channel your inner Wyatt Earp.

 

ALANIS MORISSETTE – YOU OUGHTA KNOW

Some say she’s the original Taylor Swift. After this one, he’ll be feeling more than just the burn of a picture.

JOJO – LEAVE (GET OUT)

Get. it. JoJo. Peep the “Boys Stink” tank top.

 

AVRIL LAVIGNE – MY HAPPY ENDING

If there’s a way to enhance the angry breakup playlist listening experience, it would be to jam while wearing as much black eyeliner as Avril. Apply generously.

 

CARRIE UNDERWOOD – BEFORE HE CHEATS

For those of us who dream of beating vehicles with baseball bats in an act of revenge, this is for you.

 

CASSADEE POPE – WASTING ALL THESE TEARS

A great reminder that he doesn’t even deserve your tears.

 

TSWIFT – PICTURE TO BURN 

Way more cutesy than Alanis, but by the end of this, you’ll harbor a distaste for that stinkin’ pickup truck too.

GLORIA GAYNOR – I WILL SURVIVE

Let’s end on a note of sweet, sweet resurrection.

Maggie Gelon

Editorial Contributor, Indiana University Major: Journalism Her heart belongs to: Long drives, Dwight Schrute, thrift stores & her crocs You can find her: Not jogging

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