7 Killer Comebacks For The Girl With A “Useless” Major

This article is for the right-brainers, the artists, and the dreamers; the high school seniors who tested out of college math just so they would never have to take it again, and the college freshmen who grudgingly survived their gen-ed Biology. The humanities offer fun and appealing majors, yet their practicality outside of the classroom is up for debate.

You’ve seen the Forbes listicles of all the lowest-paying college majors. You’ve had to listen to the computer science students and future engineers freely brag about how much job security they’ll have post-grad. You’ve also had to deal with condescension from those who don’t approve of your frivolous career pursuits (Follow your dreams as long as their practical!). 

You know that patronizing look all too well- the smug smile, the raised brow, the tilted head staring you down until you’re completely tongue tied and questioning everything you wanted out of a degree. But don’t sweat it! You know why you chose your major, and you don’t need to prove yourself or your career to anyone. The next time someone asks about your major, reply with one of these comebacks to talk your way out of an uncomfortable conversation (and to shake off haters).

“So what can you really do with a major in English?”

Haven’t you heard? English is the new Latin. All the cool kids are speaking it.

“Why did you choose to major in Psychology?”

I couldn’t afford therapy and college!

“How does your major in Theatre help you in the real world?”

Easy! I can fake it. I just act like I know what I’m doing.

“How much does an Art major make?”

Wow, tons. Prints, designs, paintings, sculptures, ceramics…we make so much.

“Why did you decide to be a Film major?”

To turn my escapism into a career.

“Why are you a Philosophy major?”

I mean, why does anyone do anything?

“How will you use your Communications major?”

Well, I’ll start by diverting an awkward conversation. Love those shoes! Where did you get them?


Cathryn Lien

Editorial Contributor, Asbury University Major: Creative Writing Her heart belongs to: books of all genres and tea of all flavors You can find her writing stories or acting out other people’s stories.

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