Does anything compare to the rush of getting mail? Okay… probably a lot of things, but getting a package, especially in college, can be pretty sweet. But as lovable as Mom’s care package of candy, tea, loving notes and stuffed animals can be, we can’t help but feel like something is missing. It’s time to tell it like it is. As much as we love what you send Mom and Dad, here’s what we’re really hoping for in those college care packages.
There’s just something about a Twin-XL bed that feels like it’s been stuffed with crumpled newspapers: it’s the worst. All we need is the soft, magical bed from back home that has molded perfectly to fit our bodies. A better night’s sleep means more energy, which means maybe paying more attention in class, which means better grades. See? It’s a win, win, win.
Anything but Ramen or Easy Mac. Please.
I know, I know. We are adults capable of buying our own groceries, but when the Ramen and Easy Mac are roughly 20 cents a cup and all the food we actually want to be eating is, well, SO much more, what do you really think is going in that shopping cart? At this point, late night essays, projects and study sessions are fueled by unflinching confidence, a dangerous amount of coffee and Top Ramen or Easy Mac. There is a serious need for some real food. Some fruit maybe? Some veggies? Fancy cheese? Fine wine? An actual home-cooked meal? Pretty please?
A personal barista
Coffee (especially Starbucks) can be painfully expensive. It would save a ton if someone could just send a barista who knows how to make our coffee just how we like it. Bonus: no long lines and way less frustration. Can’t you see it? Relaxing in your dorm, a mug full of steaming coffee and more money in the bank; all without having to change out of your pajamas. Also, if said imaginary barista could have a man bun, scruff and look like he walked out of a Kinfolk Instagram, that’d be fine too.
Nothing is quite as relaxing as a nice long soak. The idea of communal baths is actually shudder worthy, so a personal bath, complete with all the necessary bath-time essentials, would be the perfect escape. I’m sure relaxation levels and test scores would go through the roof. Or you know, we’d never get any studying done. Either way, we’ll be much more relaxed and that’s what makes the difference, right?
If only I went to Pepperdine. When every day after the first month of school is cloudy/rainy/foggy/snowy until May, a girl needs a break. All I ask for is a little bit of sunshine, some tanning weather, some beach weather, some fruity drinks and sundress weather. And for the sun to not set at 3pm. Yeah, that would be nice.
A Note To Excuse Me From Class. Forever.
Do those still work in college? Here’s hoping. Hey, sometimes we need a “me day”. What better way to use our barista and bath than a personal day to spoil ourselves? Just send over a few signed letters (preferably not dated) and we’ll handle the rest. Don’t worry Mom and Dad, we won’t use them on Midterm and Final test days. And we definitely won’t use a copy machine to use our supply forever.
A Money Tree
Okay. Apparently this doesn’t actually exist. But a girl can dream. Your wallet? What about your wallet?
Please mom, just send the dog. For my sanity. In fact, nothing on this list matters besides the dog.