“Girls compete with each other; women empower each other.”
This particular quote is one that really spoke to us here at the Lala. As college women, we have a tendency to be especially hard on each other. Gossip about the latest scandal or whispers of “why did she wear that…?” echo through text messages and down the sidewalks on the way to class. We’ve all been guilty of it, and it’s time to put the negativity to an end.
Why are we so critical of each other? What do we gain from scrutinizing each other and competing against each other? A whole lot of nothing, that’s what. By tearing other women down, we’re hurting them as well as ourselves. Would you want someone to talk about your hair when you knew you were having a bad hair day?
No one is perfect, especially in college. As 20-somethings, we’re all still learning the ins and outs of life, so why not be there for each other instead of dragging each other down? We live in a crazy world where stress is thrown at us from every angle, so let’s get rid of some of the pressure by removing the gossip and negativity and substituting in encouraging messages, compliments, smiles, and genuine positivity.
Here are 5 ways to empower and support other women every single day:
Cut out the fake-ness.
When someone is being insincere, it’s extremely obvious and unapproachable. As corny as it sounds, there’s only one of you (and you’re awesome), so let your fellow chicas see your real, amazing personality shine through. Also, as tempting as it may be, minimize gossip. Not only will talking behind someone’s back eventually trace back to you, you’ll be liked less overall by others and perceived as “less socially powerful than non-gossipers,” according to a 2011 study.
Sincerely compliment one of your girlfriends, or even a complete stranger, every day.
We all know how good an authentic compliment makes us feel, so spread the love! It’s a guaranteed way to brighten someone’s day, whether you’re sharing your obsession with the lady in the elevator’s shoes or telling your friend how much you admire her hard work she’s been putting in at her new job.
Be HAPPY for other women’s successes instead of jealous/bitter.
Bridesmaids life lesson moment: Remember in Bridesmaids when Annie let Lillian’s new engagement drive her insane? If Annie would have just stepped back for a second and put her selfishness aside, she could have appreciated that moment for her best friend. (See what you can learn from a Kristen Wiig movie?) But really, it’s a good lesson to keep in mind. Learn from her mistake and congratulate others’ successes by picturing how you would feel if you were in the same position.
Don’t take everything so personally, and see things from another point of view.
Remember that day when you woke up late, stubbed your toe, forgot to study for your final, and saw that guy you like walking to class with another girl? Chances are you may have been slightly moody that day. So if a girl rubs you the wrong way, know that there’s most likely a deeper reason causing the behavior, rather than her just being a “bitch” and it’s probably your perspective making it worse. Take a step outside of the situation. Perspective is key. (Because hey, it could literally be his cousin.)
Positivity is contagious, and a hell of a lot more fun (and healthy) to be around than negativity. It’s not likely that you’re going to like every female you ever meet, but have a positive disposition, and work towards seeing the good in them. Also, a smile goes a long way.
We challenge you, ladies. Try at least two of these tips every week, and make an effort to start empowering and supporting each other. Channel your inner Spice Girl and let’s say it together: GIRL POWER. Boom.