We’ve all had that one (or more) best girlfriend. You could tell them anything and everything. You swore to get matching tattoos once you were “of age” and you even promised to be in each other’s weddings once the time came.
But 10 years later the thought of hanging out makes you uneasy and you wonder if they’d still be considered your bff or even just a friend. Before you know it, you both lead completely different lives and are in totally different mindsets about your future, your relationships, and other things. Considering someone a friend out of obligation or just because you’ve had great memories together, could be a sign that maybe it’s time to let that person go. Ooh. Sounds harsh right? No one likes breakups, especially between besties, but the reality is that they can also run their courses.
And you know what? Letting go is actually okay. Here’s how you know it’s time to leave that old friendship behind.
They bring you down
It’s one thing to rant and let it all out. That’s okay. It could even be like a good therapy session for the both of you. However if you are consistently leaving your conversations feeling drained of energy, with a dismal look on the world, this “friend” isn’t just ranting about her downward spiral, she’s taking you with her.
They hinder your growth
My dad always repeated this quote to me: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” To be honest, it took me a while to get this. I actually had to experience it in a harsh way for it to sink in. Basically, if they’re not growing or striving for more experiences and knowledge, there’s a good chance that neither are you. In the same way, if they are moving backwards, you probably are too.
They minimize your success
I believe that one of the many benefits of a bff is getting the chance to celebrate each other’s accomplishments. Yeah, a little jealousy is inevitable, but good friends will always root for you.
Your past is your only connection
People grow apart, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, if the only thing holding your friendship together are playdates from the past, it could be time to leave those memories and that person behind. Holding on to a toxic relationship out of obligation is never a good idea.
They take you for granted
If you’re the only one making plans, like brunch dates or movie nights, there could be a lack of balance between the two of you. No one likes to be consistently pursuing someone with little to no return. If you find yourself on the short end, stop wasting your energy and let it go.